ARSHAD SE JO BHI CARVALHO!

BY PRIYA JAIN

Arshad Warsi hit his comic peak with the role as Circuit. Ever since then, he has regaled us in several roles, be it as Jolly LLB or the latest Joe B Carvalho! Well, Arshad Warsi sure knows how to have a good time. Not only is he an ace at keeping people in splits, but also knows how to have a good time doing it. Going by the latest song from Joe B carvalho, Arshad leaves no doubts in our mind that he is the proverbial goof ball in the film!

Dressed in army fatigues with a grin the size of Africa plastered across his face, Arshad is clearly sending out an invite to people to join him to dance! The song also has some dhaasu action sequences throughout that seem gravity defying and anti physics. Snapshots of Soha in the song also hint at a major and majorly hilarious love story. We can’t get enough of Soha in the bikini. She looks hot enough to evaporate the whole pool! Clearly, she has quite an enviable body and is sure to get more attention thanks to all the plus size women running around in Bollywood.

Image courtesy- www.filmsofindia.com

The lyrics of the song make no bones about the fact that the film has its business straight. It is here and it is here to make you laugh! Arshad is on a roll here; busy adoring himself, throwing kisses to ladies and basically being the star attraction of the song. In places, the song even spoofs other famous songs of big B town stars eliciting a laugh or two. His expressions are bang on and are sure to serve well in his comic act.

The song is sung by Neeraj Shridhar and music is composed by Amartya Rahut while Puneet Sharma has written the lyrics of the song. The tune of the song doesn’t really captivate you, but with time, don’t be surprised if you find yourself humming it! The song just adds to the earlier curiosity that the first song from the album created. Arshad Warsi is someone with a high cute quotient… And Soha comes across as an extremely classy lady… But in the first song from Joe B Carvalho, the roles seem reversed. Soha is seen turning up the heat in a sensually funny cabaret number. The song is set in a club and has Soha looking adorable in a frilly dress. The bow on her head is sure to set a trend in the coming days. The song has really funny lyrics and even has Soha wearing a deadly expression most women reserve for their wayward husbands and boyfriends!

Soha is clearly ok with Arshad going for late night parties but not his chumma chaati with others! She is even accepting of his smoking drinking habits but not of his losing control! Arshad on his part looks dapper in a suit making us wonder why we don’t see him more often!

The most hilarious part is the one where Soha talks about her Saiyaji’s muchi! Too much! The lyrics of the song are very random but go well with the central theme of the film, comedy! And it will also serve well as a veiled attempt to all the erring men around who sneak off with other women whenever the opportunity presents itself! Soha is the show stealer of the song. She looks Ravishing and makes all the appropriate expressions. Not that her acting caliber was ever in question, but it is nice to see her trying comedy in Joe B Carvalho! And the second song has only made us more curious to see her in the Bikini on the big screen for the first time ever!

Mr Joe B Carvalho stars Sohi Ali Khan and Arshad Warsi in the lead. Arshad Warsi plays the role of a detective in this comedy venture and his partner in investigation is Soha Ali Khan.

The trailer of the film titled Mr Joe B Carvalho gives us a rough insight into the film's plot that includes several hilarious situations and funny one-liners as Arshad takes on an investigation. Other than Soha and Arshad, the comic caper also features Shakti Kapoor and funnyman Javed Jaffery in supporting roles. Directed by Samir Tewari, the movie is being touted as a comedy of errors which erupts from the confusion of mistaken identity between a namesake detective and the villain played by Javed Jaffrey. The movie will see the leading lady, Soha Ali Khan, in a totally different role. She will be seen playing a Dabanggi cop similar to that of Salman Khan. The Arshad starrer is the first of the many Bollywood films which are to follow in the same genre. So put on your detective instincts and hit the road!

LAND OF SAVAGES!!

BY NOLAN PINTO

When I wake up, the first thing I do as usual these days is to check tweets. Lovely source of information in a jiffy, I can then read more in detail the stories that interest me. But something caught my eye and I was aghast. The story of a woman tourist gang-raped by 2 groups of men repeatedly for over three hours on Christmas eve.

Image courtesy- www.indianexpress.com

It was reported in a news channels online page that on Dec 27,11 of the 15 accused have been arrested so far that included a juvenile. The victim, who hails from Tamil Nadu, along with her woman relative was waiting for a friend at a bus stand in Karaikal, when a 15-member gang tried to abduct them. While her relative managed to escape, she was taken to a secluded place and gangraped. The accused let her off later.

Now, lets get to it. She is just 20 years old. I want to ask why no media channel went big on it? Did this gang rape by not 2 or 3 men but by 15 allegedly not seem juicy enough to gain TRPs? Or was it simply because this happened somewhere way down South and that it was not the target market? Or was it too down market, not your up market Delhi?

Image courtesy-

rhrealitycheck.org

Whatever it is, it seems the new stringent laws have had no effect whatsoever to deter rapists. Nope, none at all. In fact, we keep hearing about rapes and gang rapes like everyday news so much so that, nothing is novel about it anymore.

I mean, her life is lost. I am not being a pessimist here but just stating the facts. It will take years of counselling for her to come out of this and then she will find it really hard to trust a Man.

Image courtesy-

www.womenundersiegeproject.org

What sort of a country we are living in I sometimes wonder? Where we do not respect a woman and rather have fun irritating, hurting, raping and murdering them each and everyday. Its strange since we are not born of Men but begin our lives in the womb of a woman. And its a woman who brings us up, cares for us and loves us the most, at least 99 percent of the time.

Yes, as a man,  the urge to get it out is there at times but we are civilized human beings, not dogs on the road to go hump anybody we see. I am so angry with those men who give the rest of us a bad name, each and everyday.

To make matters worse, a DMK-MLA called this some sort of prostitution. Alright, if investigations do find that it was, does it mean she didn't have a right? By saying she is a prostitute, does not mean she can be used however they deem fit.

Image courtesy-

http://i.huffpost.com

Sometimes I wonder, if the problem lies in the law again. Can we not especially for rape,  castrate those men? Let's do that for sometime and see how it works. I bet this fear will stop would be rapists right in their tracks. What say? After all, only desperate times call for desperate measures.

Image courtesy-

londonoa.com

I hope that nameless victim recovers and leads a life she wanted to, properly without fear. Easy to wish but I pray she does lead a normal good life. And those of you who are reading this, how safe would you feel venturing out on New Year's knowing that the woman with you- be it your wife, sister, girlfriend, mother could simply be abducted and abused with no one simply giving a damn?

It has just been a year since the Delhi Gang Rape. Are we willing to forget it so soon?

WILL POTHOLES EVER BE CLOSED??

BY NOLAN PINTO

A few days ago, a biker fell into an open pit and lost his life. The work that was on for a good 10 days, had only a barricade and mud dumped on sides. The accident took place in the early hours of the morning. That man worked as an actor in Kannada serials. He had a family too; a wife and two children. The BBMP has offered to provide compensation, a meager Rs 2 lakh.

Then a few months ago, due to a pothole and in order to avoid it, a biker was killed when a heavy vehicle rammed into him. Like these tragic incidents, there are many to write about. So many families have been torn apart not due to war but due to potholes in this city. 

Now, let’s get down to some hard facts. This city, which was once known as the garden city and also known as the silicon city, is filled with potholes. No area is spared. Period. Well, just maybe in front of politician homes the road is fantastic but for us common folk, we just have to deal with these potholes on an everyday basis.

After this incident in Gavipuram, a few colleagues of mine went around the city searching for not just potholes but craters and they did not have to go far. In the CBD itself, you can find new potholes slowly but surely turning into craters. The civic agencies only fill them with jelly and leave it that way. Don't they know, a small stone on the road is enough to cause a bike to skid?

It’s clearly a case of utter apathy on part of both, the govt. and the BBMP. It is really not our problem if the proper budget is not allocated by the state govt. for this purpose. It is not our problem if councilors are not getting sufficient money for their respective wards. It is not our problem if contractors are striking. These problems are theirs; the elected representatives whom we have stood in queues for hours together to cast our precious vote. All we want is this, work to be done and done properly and that which will stay strong for at least 5 freaking years.

I mean, every other road has a pothole and some have craters. And we the people just deal with it. We grumble, we curse but we just deal with it every other day. Don't you think it’s time we stood up and take matters into our own hands? Just one day, we need to create chaos since our elected representatives only know the language of chaos.

Let’s do something, what say? enough is enough.. down down potholes in Bangalore. It is time folks, to start creating havoc. Remember, those in power only understand chaos. It wakes them up from their deep slumber.

TRAINS & NIGHTMARES

BY NOLAN PINTO

It was almost 8 years since I last stepped into a train to travel anywhere and I would not have done it if not for them being damn cost effective especially for short journeys. The cost of a train ticket on the push pull from Bangalore to Mysore at 6 in the evening and then again from Mysore to Bangalore at 6 in the morning is peanuts considering the way the volvo bus tickets cost today and also if one had to drive all the way to and fro.

But what always stopped me from taking one of these trains at these hours was the cattle class treatment. Whenever I traveled, and thought of taking a train journey, I would always stop myself just because of this. But a few weeks ago, I decided after 8 long years to once more give it a try and once I stepped in, I immediately regretted it.

It was in the evening and more than 90% of the passengers were heading home. Many were drunk and sweaty and the stench in the bogey was just unbelievable. To add to the misery were the dull lights and the continuous buzz of many top fans on. But what I hated the most was the ever growing number of passengers entering just literally squeezing me. It was like if you decide to move your finger, you would for sure touch somebody somewhere on their body. My thoughts immediately went to how Jews were transported in train cars stuffed tightly together on their way to be gassed by the Nazis!!

The most common mode of transport can also be very deadly!

Sad though, for the women who had to manage like us men in the stuffed compartment. Men would deliberately push against them and with the train moving continuously, they could always say they did not do it on purpose and conveniently blame the train. To add to that misery for them, many would just keep on staring and one does know what they mean when they stare in that way, they literally rape these hapless women with their eyes.

Why on earth can’t the railways just add more bogeys for these rush hours in the morning and evening? What’s the big difficulty in that? And why can’t they just have at least 2 separate bogeys for women? At least in that if they all stand together crammed up, at least they will be safe from those prying eyes and also unnecessary touch.

Adding more bogeys the solution?

Many years ago while in my final year degree, while returning to Mysore with my classmates most of who were girls, we happened to see something that left us all disgusted. A bunch of young boys, a little older to us brought in a woman and initially made her stand near the toilet. Then it began. One by one, they all took turns to force her into the toilet, finish their work with her for a good 10-15 minutes and get out. This went on for almost half the journey till Mandya and we just could not do anything about it. Even the adults on the train were helpless against this bunch of rowdies. This matter has digressed from the cattle class treatment to security in trains but it happened in the same rush hour train at 6 in the evening.

What I am trying to say here is this: Have extra bogeys during the rush hour and keep at least 2 of them exclusively for women and have some RPF personnel for the safety of passengers even on short journeys moving from one bogey to another continuously. But really, after 8 years, I thought things would have changed but sadly I was wrong.

6-5=2: A REVIEW

BY SAMARTH MADHUSUDAN RAO

The day I came across the poster of the movie, it made me sit up and notice it. Horror is a genre that is totally neglected in Kannada Cinema (pardon me, for I shall not address Kannada Cinema as Sandalwood just for the sake of it. Why the hell would you want to ape all the other ‘wood’s?). The ones that are made, well, let’s admit that they are nothing but a sorry excuse to blend soft porn with what they term as a ‘Bhayanaka’ movie. The poster did seem to be different from the rest and gave me some hope.

The poster that dragged me to the theatre!

The trailer took my hope to another level. An exploding tiffin box, though not perfect technically is a simple yet effective scene to show as preview of the movie. It worked wonders for many who saw it online. But Kannada movies have this crazy habit of releasing good trailers and equally torturous movies. And one fine day, the movie with the least amount of publicity, made it to the screens. It pissed me off to the core. Why would you spend all your money and efforts to release your work without shouting out loud about it? The movie has no Sudeep or Darshan in it to pull the crowd in a jiffy. But no, the movie made it to the screens and by evening, the netizens (a very new breed of Kannadigas on Facebook) took to the movie page and bombarded it with some excellent reviews.

While I was sitting back in my office, I was like, Whaat theee f**k? And it was enough to push me to the theaters two days later. But a surprise awaited me. I walked into PVR in Koramangala for a 10:00 AM show as if I owned the theaters and boy, I was left scratching my head like an idiot. The LCD screen above the counters read, SOLD OUT!

A Kannada movie? On a Tuesday morning? SOLD OUT IN PVR? All the other movies, including Bullet Raja had very few takers and I was left aghast. Though deep inside I was happy with the unexpected development, I was pissed that I couldn’t make it. And the very night, I booked tickets along with my friend and made it to the cinema. The mood of the audience was very uplifting. Young, energetic crowd who otherwise will be seen acting all Angrezi amidst the Koramangala crowd with their pheku English, had turned up to watch. Two words. SOCIAL MEDIA!

And the movie finally started. I was expecting two things from the movie. Not-to-be-embarrassed with the vulgarity or to leave with ‘Ayyee-Nan-Maklu-Yettbittiddaare-Ivru’ dialogue, which I loathe to hear when I leave the hall during Kannada movies.

Anybody who has seen the trailer knows that it is a found footage movie or an inspiration from the famous, ‘Blair Witch Project’. I was only praying that they didn’t Google translate the script into Kannada, and hell they DID NOT! What I saw for the rest 120 odd minutes was a cleanly written, very well shot and a totally believable commercial horror.

The plot is simple. Six people go on a trek, only one returned. What happened to the other five is what the entire movie is about. Does the plot work? Hell Yeah! It is shot in the ***** forest (Watch the movie and your question of why the stars will be answered). The forest setting is so believable that, every leaf that crunches, every bird that hoots and every branch that shakes will make you pee in your pants(Depending on your tolerance level). When you find a forest that really looks beautiful and can be horrifying depending on your perspective, you need a good script and yes, the movie has it.

The narrative builds up with the introduction of all the kids and you know that the characters are one among you. The trek starts, everything is fine until you start noticing the eerie presence of someone. Horror movies have this tendency of scaring you in the beginning or in the middle and will leave you thirsty by the end. Or some keep everything for the climax and will leave you wondering as to when you will jump out of your seats. The writer (Yes, there is one and this is no found footage movie. All this is a publicity gimmick and surprisingly, it’s working brilliantly for them.) We don’t know who he or she is. Let’s wait for the success meet, shall we?

The writer keeps you interested with some surprisingly original and close to reality humour that will leave you giggling throughout the first half. As the characters move closer into the forest, things get a little serious and right before the interval; the Ghost makes its debut. A clichéd way to enter, but it did work for me. And the lights come on. You know that you are finally watching a good movie and something is in store for you.

Then comes the crucial part of the movie where all the jitters and squirms are stored for. Let me make it clear. This is no Exorcist or the first part of ‘Paranormal Activity’ that it will leave you with nightmares for days. But wait, it is not bad either. There is not a single moment where you will be bored or wondering as to why you decided to watch the movie. And that, mind you, is a big success for a filmmaker. Bravo!

The last forty minutes is where all the paranormal stuff breaks out in the forest. The ghost starts having its share of fun, scares the trekkers and finally does what it wants to do. Screw up their lives. All the scenes in the last forty minutes, inspired? Maybe. Entertaining? DEFINITELY!

6-5=2 is a movie that scared many people and had others laughing out loud after screaming like a girl. But it is not the scariest movie you have ever seen. What works for the movie, is the intentionally amateurish yet bang on camera work will keep you interested. And what I noticed today was that I don’t even remember the movie having background score. :/

The ambience noise and the changing of colour every time the ghost is near works pretty well. The actors all new and that works for the movie in a totally different way, making it an interesting experience. The writing is interesting, not lazy in anyplace and well planned till the last scene. The editing is nearly perfect. Jump cuts, flashes in many places to ensure that the scene doesn’t drag gives you this raw effect as if the video was really found and that they are showing only the spooky parts. Camera work-Very interesting and kudos to the person who handled it. Production-Nature did help them with a proper forest, fully grown, completely spooky.

Entertainment-Check, Spooky scenes-Double Check, Value for Money-A huge tick. I walked out of the movie with a huge smile. Because as a Kannadiga, my thirst for a good movie was long due since Lucia. 6-5=2 did it for me. A huge applause for the team for a clean, simple yet effective horror movie. I hate PVR though, for the fact that as soon as the movie got over, they started playing the jarring ‘Tamanche pe disco’ which took away the hangover.

6-5=2 works because it is honest and original in its intention. Go give it a try because the team deserves it and most importantly you deserve it because there hasn’t been a good Kannada horror in over two decades.

Here is a link to the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2f9pEApwVUw 

ELEMENTS HERITAGE- A REVIEW

BY PRIYA JAIN

A happy Friday afternoon, a friend and I set off in the pursuit of great happiness. In simple words, we were two hungry souls looking for food that will please our tummies while not denting the wallet too deep.

Cosy seating in Elements Heritage with intricate detailing on cushions

Cruising around Frazer town, we stumbled across the Elements Heritage restaurant. Situated on Mosque Road, the restaurant actually looks like somebody’s house from the outside. After a double take, I did figure that it is indeed a restaurant.

The menu with the same embroidery
 as the cushions!

 Having parked, we walked in a bit uncertainly. The whole place was so empty, we were not even sure they were functional. A very sweet gentleman greeted us at the entrance and seated us in one of the dining rooms. 

One thing that really stood out is the fact that the place was extremely cool. And not an AC in sight! The house/ restaurant was built in such a way that it had plenty of air and light without resorting to artificial means. The interiors seem plastered with mud, reminding me of all the village homes I have lived in!

 While the person who attended to us was extremely warm and welcoming, he did not really give us a choice of different seating, even though the restaurant was absolutely empty. Only later did we discover a much prettier seating area outside in the restaurant!

 Coming to the food, Elements Heritage serves up a delightful mix of Awadhi, North Indian, Malabari & Peshawari cuisine. We moved a bit cautiously as we have had some bitter experiences in the past where the décor is so good, but the food is the exact opposite.

Dum Tarkari: Unlike any soup we have eaten!

 We started tentatively with a Dum Tarkari shorba priced at Rs 60. The shorba is served up in a small brass cup along with a piece of Naan (a type of bread) and a salad. The helping, though small is very rich and kind of filling. The thick soup has an ample collection of vegetables and is delicately flavored.

 Next we moved on to Paneer Misfira which was priced at Rs 160. Served up with fryums and two types of salad and chutney, this Paneer dish is as succulent and melt-in-the-mouth as it gets. Not only is the paneer marinated, the delicate flavoring of the herbs and the garnishing adds to the overall delight of the dish. The paneer is all at once tangy, spicy and soft. 8 huge chunks of Paneer are served in one dish and can be quite filling for two people.

Paneer Misfira: Has to be eaten to be believed!

 We chose vegetable stew and appams for the main course at Rs 200. The presentation was quite interesting with the stew being served in a long boat like dish along with a small helping of rice and salad along with fryums. The stew was delicious. There is something unmatched about eating vegetables along with the lovely flavoring of coconut. We were given 3 appams and split it between the two of us. Having eaten to the level of pleasantly full, we were quite pleased when we saw that the bill was still worth less than 700 rupees!

Appams and coconuttttty stew. Still drooling!

 Along the way, we had also ordered for two drinks to go with it. I opted for a regular sweet Lassi while my partner in crime opted for a Heritage special drink. The heritage special drink was quite yummy with a mix of three different fruity flavours.

Airy and Roomy without an AC!

Lassi and Heritage special drinks!

A special mention to the décor and the service: The menu and the tiny cushions in the seating area have the same embroidery as the logo of the hotel. I personally quite liked the touch showing the attention to detail. Also the service was prompt, but it was not too detailed on what to expect from the restaurant on request.

All in all, it was a totally worth it lunch for under a 700 rupees and must be tried if you are in Frazer Town and hungry!

CHAAYE STALL- A REVIEW

BY NOLAN PINTO

Just when you think that all the coffee shops are the same, a surprise awaits you. I am not the person to sit and waste time in coffee shops, they are too noisy and at times bloody irritating. So when a pal of ours suggested we check out Chaaye Stall, we were a bit apprehensive. It was like this, if it turned into a nightmare, we would surely kill him!

An instant mood setter, they have lanterns in tea pots!

We reached the place at around half past seven in the evening. There is ample space to park both cars and bikes. But be aware, even though the bike parking is hop step and jump away, you have to ride all around this huge building to get there.  This small joint is right near the gate and the moment you enter, you get this very cozy feeling. Dim lights but enough to not be shady at all like many places are these days. We decided to sit on floor one. The steps to head up are narrow and are spiral like those in old churches.

Once on the top, you are amazed at the seating. Nice floor cushioned seats and neatly spread apart. We decided to take a seat where we could have a view of the road. What struck us immediately were the drawings on the wall. The old Bangalore where one still had time to sip a cup of coffee or tea.

The queen of spices (white cup) the smell of the soil (mud pot)

Bread Pakoras, really wish there were more pieces!

We thought this place would be extremely costly, but one look at the menu and we were amazed. This got us in the mood to just keep on ordering. The waiter arrived within 10 minutes of us taking our seats and getting used to the place. 

We were famished and hence ordered loads to eat. So it was Hash Browns, cucumber sandwich, Golgappa Shooters, Bread Pakoda and then for tea, one 'smell of the soil' that is served in a Kulladh(mud pot) and 'queen of spices' a tea blended with Indian spices.

Golgappa Shooters! We couldn't resist eating two before we remembered we need pictures! 

I would certainly suggest the Golgappa shooters. Very elegantly served. The puris are placed on a long shot glass filled with the pani. The pani is served chilled and is just about the right amount of sweet and yum. 

A potato lovers delight! Yummylicious Hash Browns!

The Hash Browns were absolutely yummilicious. For the potato lover, it had the right amount of steam, oil as well as garnishing. We wiped the plate clean!

If you’re heading to this place all alone, then this dish will for sure fill your tummy. The cucumber sandwich is as normal as it gets but the bread pakoda (though with a filling) could have been better.

The teas are good. I for one enjoyed the queen of spices better than the smell of the soil which was pretty ordinary in taste. I know it’s supposed to give you the feeling of drinking tea in a mud pot but still the tea can be made a bit more interesting.

Greedy hands reach out for more Golgappas!

Cucumber sandwiches- ek dum ghar ka taste! 

The feel of the place is wonderful. They played old Jagjit Singh songs and not too loud and not too soft either, I would say just about there in the background so it won’t disturb you while you are speaking. My first time here and I was satisfied. More so since the entire bill came to less than Rs. 400 in spite of us ordering 4 dishes and 2 teas. Really cost effective for a place to just hang out and also to treat others toward the end of the month.